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The Pages of Now & Forever (More or Less)

One step forward, a million steps back

11/16/06 01:15 pm - One step forward, a million steps back

     Why aren’t there more women in gaming? The only ones we ever hear about are idiot divas licking PSPs or low self esteem attention whores stuffing peripherals down their pants. Wouldn’t it be great if the industry as a whole began to treat women gamers as people instead of some interdimensional alien race with boobs? I do, and so do these people. Why, just look at their mission statement!

     “To assist in the proliferation of females in gaming genres of all types and to help raise awareness of the female gaming audience among game publishers and advertisers. To make the gaming industry take women gamers seriously and to treat them with respect as equals.”

     A noble cause! How are they going to do this you ask? By holding the Miss Video Game competition!

     Wait, one more time to help it sink in. In order for guys to respect women gamers we must first objectify them. My god, it makes perfect sense!

     So how does one become Miss Video Game? Officially one must have personality, be female, play games “like its[sic] your job,” and, I’m not making this up, love the beach. Of course, all you really have to do in order to get selected is show some cleavage in the gallery but adding “must have ample cleavage” to the requirements might seem, I don’t know, tacky.

     The winner will be crowned next June after playing on five different systems and over fifteen games (that’s three per system for the women who find math to be hard). The site also provides a helpful and terrifying warning: the winner might have to play RETRO (in all caps) games. Of course, as enlightened as these fine folks are retro, I’m sorry, RETRO probably means Super Mario World but it’s still pretty cute/sad.

     So aside from the scorn of women gamers everywhere what can Miss Video Game expect to win? A trip for two to Mexico, a thousand bucks, a to-be-determined system (Wii), and, um, to be featured in an upcoming video game title.

     Why do I get the feeling that means “third cheerleader from the right” in a random EA title?
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