8/29/06 05:45 pm - It probably seemed like a good idea at the time...
Import specialist NCS is offering for a mere $85 this. I'm sorry, I meant to say these.
Be the envy of all your workplace peers as you rub your scar-covered wrist over and in between the simulated breasts of a drawing of a fifteen year-old girl. Though she doesn't talk you can almost imagine her arousing moans with every subtle, gentle cursor movement and even pretend to muffle her tearful screams with your fat, wireless mouse.
"Who would buy this?" you're probably asking yourself. Somebody apparently thought there was a market for mouse pads with breasts and I suppose sleazeball, wife-beating, pedophilic, amateur porn director ex-husbands are a pretty easy mark but still how could you use one without wanting to end your obviously miserable life as quickly as you can?
Perhaps I'm looking at this the wrong way. If you're a man, sorry, if you're a MAN you should be able to file your taxes online while simultaneously stimulating a woman therefore the breast enhanced mouse pad simply serves as a reminder to any pathetic worm that crosses a man's path that he is indeed a man and not some incredibly sad sack of flesh who finds the act of rubbing his filthy, hairy wrist all over a foam mouse pad with tits either arousing or hilarious.
Yeah, it's pretty much a no win situation so for the love of humanity don't buy a mouse pad with breasts. I don't care how tempting it may be or how drunk you'll later claim you were just...just don't. Please.